Through My Children's Eyes

I see her pain through her smile
I try to make it better
I jump and giggle all the while
To find ways to distract her

I'm not quite sure what's going on
But I sense it can't be good
Even though I'm small, I'm strong
I do just what I should

Going back and forth from mom to dad
Can seem like an adventure
They can't really tell I'm sad
Because I smile through the torture

I wish we were a family still
Something just is not right
I have so many questions still
I take it one day at a time

It's just so stormy in my brain
I don't know what it's all about
I don't want to feel this pain
I want my rainbow to come out

Stupid Poetic Outlet

i can't believe i'm still breathing
my heart is still beating
i thought my world would come to a hault
but now i see it's all your fault
you just weren't meant for me
i see so clearly
how were my eyelids so heavy
that i couldn't see he didn't love me
a charity case for these pitiful remnants
of what used to be a beautiful woman
we tried to be friends
friends till the end
but i can't endure these pains
that reoccur day after day
laughing to inside jokes from sun up to sun down
knowing in my heart he'd never be around
to hold me as his own
or love me as his girl
i'd take back the experience and memories made
and pray that each of these feelings fade
so i can say i've lived and learned
and my weightless heart has been burned
i just want to move on
i'll pretend to be strong
for everyone that's watching me
but i'm crying & dying inside secretly
he's completely erased from life as i've known it
and this stupid poetic outlet has turned into a sonnet
he keeps me wondering
if life will ever bring
the butterflies and love i felt for him
or if i'm doomed in this world i'm in
a world of deafening silence & loneliness
heartache, sadness, and emptiness
But I will Be Strong
and move on
to the happiness i know i should claim
and a sense of self worth i should maintain
so here i am at the end of this paper
obsessed with the question, "who'll ever love her?"
but i'm still breathing
and my heart is beating
although sometimes i wish it would stop.

UNTITLED

The power of a merciful Savior
Is enough to cleanse our sins
His judgment reigns supreme
Rescues souls from torment they're in

His love so pure
A love that's sure
To release you from these anchors
That hold you down
Beneath earth's ground
Only if His way you favor

We are the noble & chosen soldiers
To fight the battle that's life eternal
Push pride to the side & fight with our God
To secure your seat above

His love so pure
A love that's sure
To release you from these anchors

Fight for your testimony
As protection from the adversary
With courage & grace we win our place
In the kingdom of the Lord

His love so pure
A love that's sure
To release you from these anchors
That hold you down
Beneath earth's ground
Only if His ways we favor

Your Weakness

I'm addicted to the way you say
"I'm in love with you"
I'm addicted to the little things you do
Your heart tells you I don't love you the same
But you willingly keep playing my game
You give me power over your mind
I know exactly what you're trying to find
But I won't say those words
Although I see your hurt
I'm addicted, I'll confess
I'm addicted to your weakness

No Worries, Ma

When I wake, you're the one I think of
When I sleep, you're the star in my dreams
You're the reason I check for missed calls
The reason I'm a fool and all
The reasons I hope & wish & believe

But I just tell myself
"No worries, Ma!"
It's gonna work out alright
"No worries, Ma!"
Just make it through tonight
"No worries, Ma!"
One day he'll realize that no one
Will love him the way you do
But all I do is play myself
I play myself for you

You're the funniest & sexiest man I've known
I'd drop every other guy if your love was my own
I'd do anything for you just because you're you
I already measure the rest up to you
Up to the man you let me fall so deep into

But I just tell myself
"No worries, Ma!"
It's gonna work out alright
"No worries, Ma!"
Just make it through tonight
"No worries, Ma!"
One day he'll realize that no one
Will love him the way you do
But all I do is play myself
I play myself for you

I feel for you
The way they feel for me
But why can't you be
The one that's chasing after me
You say you have issues
And you need to solve 'em
But baby, can't you see
I want you to be my problem

But I just tell myself
"No worries, Ma!"
One day he'll realize
That you really were that chick
"No worries, Ma!"
Just dont' play yourself
Don't play yourself for him

Wonder Woman

Some days I'm wonder woman
I'm strong & know where I'm goin'
I'm fierce & secure with choices I make
Independent & hopeful with chances I take
Then it seems to vanish
And...

I feel like I'm falling
I'm sad and alone
My heart has been calling
You're no where around
When does my lonely road come to and end
When does my sun shine again
Because...(repeat)

This wonder woman costume will disappear
Instantly replaced with a skintight dress of fear
I feel weak & succumb to this worthless pleasure
This gold & glitter rarely become my treasure
Then it seems to vanish
That's when...

I feel like I'm falling
I'm sad and alone
My heart has been calling
You're no where around
When does my lonely road come to an end
When does my sun shine again
Because...(repeat)

I just need you here
Such a simple request
I know you're out there
I feel the burn in my chest
But, still...

I feel like I'm falling
I'm sad and alone
My heart has been calling
You're no where around
When does my lonely road come to an end
When does my sun shine again
Because...(repeat)

Sacrament

Feeling ashamed
I hold my head down.
Hoping no one noticed
I take a glance around.
Did they see I passed it up?
Are they judging me?
I’m not even worried
About the right things.
How do I get my mind & heart
Back on track?
How do I stop Satan
From this constant attack?
I don’t want to stand
With awful guilt and shame
Before my Lord
On that great & dreadful day.
To be forgiven,
To forsake,
I plead for your help.
Such a longing for trust & mercy
I’ve never before felt.
To abandon sin;
Much easier said than done.
It truly is a never ending battle
That must be won.
“We can do hard things”
We can win the prize.
Simply trust in the Lord
And cast our burdens on Christ.


…with hands now pledged to do thy work, we take the sacrament…